hi (again lol)

My dark period of writer’s block has finally subsided… I think.

I’ve wanted to revive this blog for a little while now. As much as I love the freedom that comes with summer, I actually kinda hate it at the same time.

While not having a day-to-day routine tends to feel liberating at the beginning of June, constant “free time” eventually turns into boredom.

To be completely transparent, I’ve been going through a mentally difficult time lately. Being stuck in the weird adjustment period from high school to college, I’ve been having a hard time accepting the newness of the season.

I’m not the biggest fan of change. Specifically, the type of change that isn’t in my immediate control.

In all honesty, I wish life would just slow down a bit. I wish I could just push pause for a little while, and enjoy my life for what it is right now.

Everything seems full steam ahead. While I am excited to begin a new chapter, I’m not totally comfortable with it all just yet.

I guess you could call it “growing pains”.

I’ve been in desperate need of a creative outlet, which is why I’ve returned to this little website I created years ago.

Writing has always managed to make me feel better. Putting my thoughts down on paper (or in this case, a blank Google Doc) genuinely relaxes my mind.

For my fellow overthinkers, you’re not alone.

Journaling works wonders… trust me.

I was scrolling through VSCO the other day, and I stumbled upon a screenshot of a daily writing challenge.

I skimmed it over, saved it, and figured I would come back to it when I felt the urge to sit down and write again.

“Describe your personality” was the Day 1 prompt on the list.

I’ve written and deleted several “first” posts on this blog, and in each one, I attempted to introduce myself. The very first one I wrote dates back to quarantine and the other was written about a year later when I decided to delete everything and rebuild this site from scratch.

And well… here I am, yet again, restarting.

Re-reading some of my older pieces, I felt as if younger Naomi was absentmindedly preaching to herself. There wasn’t anything particularly wrong with my writing at the time, but to me, my older posts just seemed bland, for lack of a better word.

While I was able to successfully shed light upon my “good” attributes and positive experiences, I never really talked about the “bad” or troubling parts of my life.

I’m my own worst critic if that wasn’t obvious enough, haha.

If I had to describe my personality, “perfectionist” is definitely the first word that comes to mind.

It doesn’t matter how many times I do something, or how much effort it takes. Whenever I do anything, it has to be done right. It has to be done in a way that surpasses, or at least meets, my standards.

I’m an artist at heart. And everything I create reflects that part of me.

There are many ways that I could go about “describing my personality”. I’m a stressed overthinker, a detail-oriented perfectionist, and a “big idea” person who has the toxic trait of starting a project, losing motivation to finish it, and then going back to it later down the line.

It’s interesting to think about how fluid our personalities can be. Sure, our core beliefs and habits stay the same, but new things and experiences eventually mold us into the people we currently are.

I’m not the same person that I was when I originally started this blog. We have different interests, goals, and things to say.

But despite the transition between those two versions of myself being messy, that’s just what life is.

Messy. Complicated.

Evidence of growth is more important than perfection. And as the imperfect individual that I am, I often have a hard time truly grasping that fact.

Not everything has to be a masterpiece.

Not everything has to be in your hands, or your complete control.

There is beauty in simply letting things come and go.

Describing my personality can be as easy as summarizing all of the personal things that I’m proud of; but this time, I want this first post to feel a little bit more real.

More human.

My anxiety sometimes keeps me up at night. I’m terrified of caterpillars. I love reading corny romance novels, and bookmarking spicy scenes so I can re-read them later. I hate eating raw vegetables individually (cooked vegetables and salads are fine, though). I’m a Presbyterian Christian, and I go to church every Sunday. I watch Ninjago and My Little Pony to cheer me up when I’m sad. I get jealous easily. Tulips, Lily of the Valley, and Hydrangeas are my favorite flowers. I don’t drink at all… not even soda. My biggest insecurities are my shoulders, chin, and lower stomach. I almost always cry on my birthday. I’m half Filipino and half Korean (North and South, actually). My love language is words of affirmation. I hate hook-up culture. I practice conversations in the mirror before I have them in real life. I sing karaoke songs to my dog whenever I’m home alone.

My new goal for this blog is to be more open. To be more vulnerable, to write my real thoughts, and to put my oversharing tendencies to productive use, haha.

I hope I finally nailed “the first post”, and that my future self won’t delete this lmao…

Thanks for reading and allowing me to reintroduce myself (for the third time) !!

New posts coming soon.

Sending lots of love and happiness your way!

- NK